Less Personal, More Intimate

The liberating practice of non-identification

One of the most powerful teachings and practices in Buddhism is referred to as non-identification. It’s a subtle shift in perception, but it can have a profoundly liberating impact.

The idea is to become less identified with what’s happening in a way that events and experiences feel less personal, and as a result, don’t throw us for a loop so easily.

For example, if we are experiencing anxiety we may say “I’m anxious”, as if we are that anxiety. We can begin to de-identify by shifting to “I am feeling anxiety”. You see the “I” and the “anxiety” are now seperate. We can even further dis-identify by shifting to “there is anxiety happening” – in this case there is no “I” at all, just sensations happening in space.

We can do this for any uncomfortable experience. Shift from “I’m angry” to “there is anger” or “I’m scared” to “there is fear”.

Normally our awareness, and sense of self, is embedded in our feelings. When we practice non-identification, we are differentiating between the experience and the experiencer. We come to learn that we are not our experiences, but we are the awareness in which experiences happen.

We realize that what we really are is this fundamental ground of awareness, and all the thoughts and feelings we experience are just passing phenomena. This has an odd effect of making our thoughts and feelings less scary because they feel less personal, less permanent, and less all consuming.

This actually allows us to dissociate less and be more present with our experience, to come more into our senses and feel more fully. Our experience feels less personal, but at the same time, more intimate, because we can be with it more fully.

So try this, notice what you are thinking or feeling in any moment, but make it less about you. There are thoughts. There are feelings. You aren’t any of it, but the observer to it.